Article originally published on As the Builder Builds https://asthebuilderbuilds.home.blog/2020/02/18/engagement-a-sacrifice-for-the-beauty-of-marriage/
The morning after I became engaged to the love of my life, everything seemed aglow with the excitement of marriage and our future life together. I remember it so vividly; nothing could have ruined my day I was so entirely happy. My fiancé and I both went to brunch together and discussed our vision for the wedding. All the delightful details seemed so enticing, we couldn’t wait to begin planning, but decided to bask in the initial engagement glow that we were enjoying for a little while longer. Marriage seemed like it would be just around the corner.
It was very soon after that we discovered the difficulties that came along with planning a wedding. How many venues could we possibly look at? How do we finalize our enormous guest list? What colors do we like? How can appetizers be so expensive? The list of questions hit us like a stormy query. The thought of eloping seemed more enticing than ever before.
On top of these unanswered questions, the length of our engagement time loomed heavily over us. We still had a year to wait and there were many moments when the time seemed to drag on like a boring class. Engagement no longer felt like a glowing new beginning, but rather a long, difficult road filled with ridges and holes that we couldn’t see until we were tripping over them. This is the reality of preparation for marriage. It is rather comparable to the time of fasting and sacrifice in Lent before Easter Sunday. Much sacrifice is required to prepare for the glory of the Resurrection. Yet, sacrifice need not be bereft of joy.
You see, the Lord never requests the gift of our wills just to leave us empty handed. He transforms the sacrifices offered to Him into jewels of love for us to treasure. Yet we can only see the amount of beauty we are willing to put in the effort to discover. It is up to us to extend our hand to the Father so He can help us uncover the jewels when they are difficult to find. Engagement is a promise land of hidden discoveries, but the evil one so easily masks it with the landscape of a barren dessert. He points to our lack of water, while the Father stands by with torrents of love with which to drench us in His grace.
Recently, I was complaining to a mentor of mine about how I felt like a lost wanderer in this particular season of my life. Engagement had me feeling like I had one foot in the door of marriage and the other in the single life. Where did I belong? I felt unsettled, restless and more than ready for the security and stability of marriage. After quietly listening, she challenged me to see this time in my life as a unique opportunity to create a dwelling place for the Lord in my heart. Instead of focusing on the instability in my own life, I needed to channel my energy to create a stable home for the Lord in my heart before I entered into such a powerful sacrament. While marriage brings overwhelming graces from the acceptance of one’s vocation, this time beforehand is uniquely special in which to grow in unity with Jesus. While I am busy bemoaning my restlessness, the Lord is gently nudging me to welcome him further into the home of my heart before I begin my own with my future husband.
As I continue this journey of engagement with my amazing fiancé, we are both constantly amazed by the continual deepening of our love. They say that traveling with someone is the best way to get to know them. There is nothing like the sleeplessness, agitation, and encounter of new experiences that comes with traveling to teach you about the character of another. This is what engagement is, a journey to a new stage in life that requires great sacrifice and testing in order to survive to see the destination. And sacrifice, if done through Christ’s transforming love, only binds you more closely to the one whom you sacrifice for.
The sacrifice is worth it my friends, don’t let the evil one mask the beauty of the Father’s hand in preparing you for a vocation that is greater than the struggle it takes to reach.
