Have you ever wondered why you are drawn to certain colors when you shop? Or why you often buy multiple versions of the same item? Or why you gravitate toward that one outfit over all the others? These are questions that I have often wondered too and certainly, the answers can be found within each of our unique, personal styles. But how is personal style developed? Does it spring up on its own, or is it shaped by others?
As a little girl, I remember how much I loved to look through my mother’s wardrobe and accessories. Her bureau always attracted my attention with its array of decorative boxes, lace doilies and her signature perfume. Sometimes I would sneak into her room and browse through her treasures, dreaming of the day when I would wear them too. While I couldn’t yet wear her clothing, her collection of shoes and accessories proved irresistible to test out. It made playing dress up more than just pretend-play since these were made for real life.
Now I would be lying if I didn’t’ admit that this phase of girlish adoration for my mother’s clothing has held fast throughout my life. I also clearly recall my teen years and the tension that arose between us as I grappled to gain my own sense of style amidst the journey towards adulthood independence. Now, as a wife and mother, I find myself reflecting on the lessons my mother taught me through her wardrobe, and how they in turn have shaped my own.
Our clothing tells a story.
From a young age, I can remember how my mother was always intentional in the way she dressed and encouraged this practice amongst her children, especially her daughters. Whether we were going to church, a friend’s house, or traveling, how we presented ourselves through our clothing was always important. My parents would often remind us that we represented our family when we went out in public and what we wore told a story of who we were. My parents truly desired to portray the beauty and love of a large family, especially since the thought of so many children often evoked images of chaos and neglect. Clothing that is clean and cared for tells a story of family love, of a father who works hard to provide for his children and a mother who notices their needs. My mother always did her best to provide us with quality clothes that would tell this story of family love to a world that usually gawked at the sight of such a large family.
Self-respect is mirrored through our wardrobe.
As I began to explore my sense of style in high school and purchase some of my own clothes, it was easy to gravitate toward trendy pieces that wore out easily and cost very little. My parents allowed me freedom to purchase my own clothing, as long as it met their standards. While they allowed this freedom, they were always willing to enhance my closet with timeless, quality pieces that didn’t just cater to a trend but pointed to the beauty of my God-given body. I remember one occasion when my dad told me that he was always willing to sacrifice a bit more money if it meant purchasing beautiful clothing that would last through many seasons and uphold my dignity. Indirectly, he was communicating the significance of my worth as a woman and how crucial it was to protect this. It was clear that he desired his daughter to dress in a way that communicated self-respect. And as an insecure teenager, this lesson taught me that how I clothed myself mirrored the respect I had for myself. If I only wore the cheapest brands and fast fashion trends, what was I saying about my worth? This is not to say that we need to purchase the most expensive brands in order to demonstrate our value as a person, but it does mean that our closet ought to reflect a personal understanding of our dignity.
Each human being is a divine masterpiece of beauty.
Growing up amongst sisters, clothes sharing (or borrowing without permission) was a common occurrence. Whether it was hand-me-downs, raiding my mother’s wardrobe or lending dresses to each other, our clothes reflected our relationship with one another. As the oldest girl in the family, I witnessed (and continue to witness) myself and my sisters develop our own style, often echoing, in unique ways, some element of my mother’s wardrobe. Mothers are the first models of beauty for their daughters and whether they have a particular love for style or not, how they clothe their bodies will always ripple through to their daughters’ wardrobes. The art of guiding a young woman in the process of creating her style is truly a delicate one as it requires insight into the unique beauty of her person. There is a balance between encouraging her to take risks, while never sacrificing the misrepresentation of her dignity through clothes that objectify rather than illuminate. I can always remember outfits I wore at various stages in my life that carried this balance so well, making me feel beautiful while somehow representing my person in a unique way.
Our wardrobe ought to be a creation of joy!
From those young memories of admiring my mother’s wardrobe, I acquired a love for dressing up, sparked by her own. While my mother certainly enjoys shopping, it doesn’t come from a desire just to acquire more clothing, but from the recognition that we are worth celebrating through our clothes. There is great joy to be found in representing who we are as inimitable individuals. Clothing offers such a vast variety for expression with colors, textures, designs, accessories, shape, and contrast. Watching my mother take pride in how she shops and dresses has given me joy in creating my own wardrobe, and inspired me to teach my own daughter the same lessons from the legacy of my mother’s style that I learned from her.
