The postpartum period is a vulnerable, humbling, yet beautiful time of growth in the journey of motherhood, particularly for first time moms. However, the needs of the new mom are often forgotten amidst the wild adventure of birth and the consequent struggle to care for the new human that has just entered the world. While I look back on the weeks following the birth of my daughter with great gratitude for the support and growth I experienced, in a spirit of honest reflection, there are a few things I would do differently the next time round.
In my fear and wonder as to what the actual birth would be like, I spent most of my pregnancy planning how I wanted my birth story to unfold. I listened to meditations and podcasts, read blogs and books, and followed birth experts on social media, filling my mind with all things birth so I felt fully equipped for the experience. While I had some scattered thoughts about postpartum, I really didn’t spend too much time planning how I wanted my postpartum experience to go. I figured things would go smoothly since my daughter would finally be here and all would be well. I had this image in my head of cozily snuggling my newborn in a warm, clean bed wrapped in a soft blanket. However, it didn’t exactly turn out to be this way, at least most of the time.
Now, as I plan for my second birth, here are some things I would want to do differently.
Purchase Comfortable Loungewear
The first thing I would be sure to do before baby comes is to purchase some comfortable, nursing-friendly pajamas. They should suit your particular taste and make you feel yourself, without causing any insecurities about your post- birth body. After birth, its necessary to spend a lot of time resting, nursing (or bottle-feeding), and nourishing yourself but this is no reason why you can’t feel feminine and beautiful. Your body has gifted the world with new life and deserves to be honored! The clothes we wear shape what we do and how we feel, which is why intentionally purchasing pajamas and loungewear that are soft and beautiful will promote soothing rest for mom and baby.
Have Nourishing Snacks on Hand
In addition to acquiring comfortable clothes that beatify the body, we ought to thank our bodies post-birth by feeding them well. Whether nursing or not, every mama still needs plenty of healthy foods to aid recovery. After my own daughter’s birth, I set up a “snack basket” for myself next to my bed that I could access whenever I felt that ravishing wave of hunger come over me. Looking back, it was a great idea, but poorly executed, since the snacks I provided myself weren’t the most nutritious options. While I am all for a bit of self-indulgence after giving birth, next time, I plan to have some healthier options that satisfy my hunger instead of briefly quenching it. Read here for some great post- birth snack ideas!
Press Pause on Social Media
Turning from the physical to the emotional needs of postpartum, it’s essential to recognize the emotional vulnerability that comes after bringing forth a baby from your body. While the body is dealing with the hormonal imbalance that comes after birth and trying to regain stability, a new mama is prone to sudden mood swings, irritability, and intense feelings of sadness often called the “baby blues.” It can be overwhelming to experience both the wonder of bringing forth new life and then the intensely vulnerable postpartum emotions. A small tactic that I wish I had more intentionally employed after my first birth was to distance myself from social media and decrease phone usage during this period of growth since I was more susceptible than ever to comparison and feelings of self-doubt that can come from mindless scrolling. While I was eager to share the news of my daughter’s arrival, in the end, the period post-birth is a precious time that ought to be intimately enjoyed amongst family members and loved ones. The world will appreciate the news of the birth when the time is right for you to share it.
Prepare Some Postpartum Hobbies/Activities
To fill the gap that a lack of social media might bring and to keep your mind at rest, but not restless, purchase one or two books that will help you partake in some self-care while you settle in with your little one. If you’re looking for a parenting book that doesn’t make you feel like a bad parent, provides cultural enrichment and a good story, I would suggest Bringing Up Bébé by Pamela Druckerman. For a heartwarming, nostalgic novel that will reignite your faith in the power of family, look no further than Louisa May Alcott’s Good Wives. If reading doesn’t sound relaxing to you, choose a Netflix show, a podcast or some other outlet that will help you create time for personal growth and rest. Journaling is another wonderful way to stay mentally active and capture the precious memories of the unique time after birth. Some women might also enjoy finding a simple craft like knitting or crocheting to pass the time as well!
Know Your Community
Lastly, and most important of all, take a moment to think about the community you want to be able to rely on for emotional and physical help. Does your husband have paternity leave or is he taking time off work to stay home and help? Will your mom be coming into town? What friends can you call when you’re feeling lonely? You might even consider employing the aid of a Postpartum Doula, a professional trained in helping families transition after birth. Their services can include meal prep, light house cleaning, emotional support, and knowledge of all things newborn. To learn more about postpartum doulas, read here. This last suggestion might seem obvious, but it’s essential that a new mom knows that she will need help and who will be able to provide that help. Thinking about this in advance will make it easier during those moments when the baby blues just suddenly appear or lack of sleep hits hard.
Preparing for a new baby is beautiful, sacrificial work, and due to the deep love mommas have for their children, they can easily forget that caring for themselves is a vital aspect of caring for their child. Just as we prepare both our homes and ourselves for the arrival of a guest, so too should be the case for a new baby. And this includes not just our physical bodies, but our souls as well. St. Zelie Martin captures it eloquently when she writes, “Above all, during the months immediately preceding the birth of her child, the mother should keep close to God, of whom the infant she bears within her is the image, the handiwork, the gift and the child. She should be for her offspring, as it were, a temple, a sanctuary, an altar, a tabernacle” (Read here for the full quote). The task of preparation for a child is a holy one, as mothers take on the role of sheltering one of God’s own, directly from His hands. Such a holy task invites intentional preparation and joyful anticipation; what an honor it is to be a mother!
